...so I'll admit:
I am not getting married
My father is not in the witness protection program
I am not pregnant
I did not see your boyfriend in drag
I am not gay
I do not have 6 toes
My sinus problems are not contagious
There is not an outbreak of Toxic Epidermal Necrolysis... to my knowledge
I did not wrestle a lion in Africa
She does not have a crush on you
There are no cookies in the break room
And my sincerest apologies for not falling for any pranks. In the surprisingly wise words of Thomas, "you can't prank them if they don't care".
Hope you all are having a great day!