Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Unable to see my cutiepatootie doctor, I went to the clinic. Did you know there are about a thousand different medications to clear up my angry sinus problem? Did you know I'm allergic to 999 of them? Instead of something that works, I got a prescription for Pseudoephedrine.
At any given point in the day, my body is running on 1200 mg of this stuff. And its a non-drowsy formula so I've been high as a kite for 3 days. I kind of like it.
Since I was on new medication and have a problem driving anyway (I fall asleep after more than 4 hours in a car, especially if I'm the one driving) I decided it was a bad idea to go to North Carolina. Which is a good thing because Lisa was sick too.
The plan was to stay home and sleep.
I ended up gardening, painting the guest bedroom, hanging blinds, buying furniture, steam cleaning the carpets and sterilizing every surface that couldn't be dusted.
I did not sleep.
But I do feel very accomplished!
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Instead my friend Gina and I went to a concert series held at the Bijou Theatre.
It is a great show, and if you're ever around the Knoxville area on the last Wednesday of the month you need to pony up the $10 and see it!
Before the show my bloodstream was still completely diluted with cold medicine and I stupidly add a shot of whiskey and 2 beers to the mix.
Not my crowing moment, folks.
Then after the show Gina took us, and almost drunk drove us into oncoming traffic, back west to the bar where we had met to go downtown. I was completely anxious after the car ride and didn't feel to swift by the time we got to The Hill.
I ordered chicken tenders there because I hadn't eaten all day and thought that it would help me feel better. Awful decision!
Not a Problem: I got home about 11ish and went to bed.
Huge Problem: Three hours later I'm hanging over the business end of the toilet wondering what went wrong.
Four hours after that I'm at it again, while trying to multitask my morning routine so I won't be late for work (I was 30 minutes late, egad!).
I'm still not sure what happened last night.
It was either the cold medicine (unlikely because I only had 3 drinks in a 6 hour period)
or the company (I really did think Gina was going to crash)
or the chicken (could have been bad. I was eating on autopilot at the time)
Or some strange combination of the three.
Regardless- I'm feeling much better now. I'm even going to cancel the whole rhinoplasty thing because of the hysterical comments I got yesterday.
My blog girls are the best blog girls!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
This evening at 5:00, when I get in from work- I have an appointment in my bathroom with a sharpened kitchen knife. It coming off!
Maybe then I won't have this revolting sinus problem anymore...
Seriously- I've gone through a box of tissue since 8 a.m.
I'll reveal the new look tomorrow:)
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Wont You Celebrate With Me
what i have shaped into
a kind of life? i had no model.
born in babylon
both nonwhite and woman
what did i see to be except myself?
i made it up
here on this bridge between
starshine and clay,
my one hand holding tight
my other hand; come celebrate
with me that everyday
something has tried to kill me
and has failed.
Besançon, France. I don't think any other place ever compelled me to write with such abandon, though I might have been channeling Victor Hugo a bit:) I felt absolutely fearless there!
I'm going to cheat a little...
You see, I've never really gotten my knickers in a twist over Disney princesses... but I have a total girl crush on Belle from Beauty and the Beast. What an amazing animated role model!
A huge thank you to Fine Little Love for inspiring me to take the time to do this. I have this happy little feeling sitting on my shoulders now...
Don't believe me? Try it... go on and pick one for each and let me know what you come up with!
Monday, March 23, 2009
It was my stepfather, so I'm automatically worried that something has happened.
Stepfather: You need to come home now! Your mother has broken the telephone. And she's drunk!
Me: I'm 5 minutes away. Don't scare me like that!
Stepfather: You haven't seen anything yet...
At home, my mother is in the kitchen frying steak and gulping a martini.
I fix the phone, mother is giggling...
Stepfather: This is awful... simply awful!
Mother: I've been drunker.
Me: How did the phone break?
Mother: I dropped it.
Mother: Against the wall.
Me: Were you talking to your mother or sister
Mother: My sister. And I super glued my fingers together...
AN HOUR LATER:
Stepfather: I'm reading War & Peace. There's too much peace, not enough war.
Mother: At least its not Anna Karenina.
Me: I liked both.
Mother: Anna Karenina was a manic depressive idiot. Left her husband and kids for a guy going off to war- well I'll tell you, there's a reason he left too. She was a nut job... threw herself on a railroad track! Certifiable basket case, that one.
Stepfather: Tolstoy's an okay writer- but if he lived today he'd be the best soap opera writer of all time!
Me: I need a drink.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Driving home yesterday after work I saw a man totally flipping out in the car in front of me. His arms were flailing everywhere and he seemed to be more in the passenger seat than the driver’s (I’m sure he would have wound up in the backseat if it weren’t for the seatbelt - safety first). The lines of the road meant nothing to him as he weaved the entire expanse of the interstate. I knew exactly how he felt. If I had met this guy 1-4 years ago, in a bar, he would have been my next poor decision. As it is, I just shook my head and attempted to get past him without wrecking. I slightly succeeded.
I fear I might miss them more than I already do. Thank the gods for e-mail!
And speaking of DBs, my friend at work told me that he didn’t like my shirt because I look like a waitress at the Sizzler. All I know is that a waitress at the Sizzler will probably have a job longer than I do (especially if I lived in Japan).
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
So much so that I realized I could either take an exceptionally big breath or write a world-rocking post.
But the more I contemplated which one I would prefer to do, the more I realized that I'm not the type of person that gets boxed into an either/or situation. So I'm going to go all half-assed today and take a half-breath and write a sub par post.
My world makes sense again.
And because it has been way too long since I've said it:
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I needed a moment to put things in perspective and to project what I do want out of life. Unfortunately it wasn’t going so well and I kept thinking about a boy and my lack of strength where he is concerned. Eyes closed, head back- I could feel myself slipping back to a place where I second guess everything and lose confidence in who I am. I looked up and realized that someone is on my side.
And much needed, because it’s my turn to select a challenge for the KWC. So many ideas are playing leap frog around my brain…
The Amazon: Best of the Month of March list of books is out, and there are short story compilations on it! Oh (excuse me while I do my lame but delightful happy dance) how I love short stories, and there are a few old names on the list, as well: Mary Gaitskill and Jason Brown are at it again, and though I haven’t read Don’t Cry and Why the Devil Chose New England for His Work, I have been enchanted by their earlier reads. My Chase/Amazon points just went up a little more…
Today is a roller coaster ride for me. I need to find myself a sweetly decorated cave to crawl into for a couple of days until things are normal again…
Monday, March 9, 2009
vacant of cunning and desire
the men of the land looked upon her
with the devil in their gaze
systematically stripped her of
worth peace ignorance
her hips became the beat of beasts
swayed to reap, cocked to sow, rocked to love
her breasts nourished hungry desires
took from them what they wanted
and their souls were her own
until the man of goodwill arrived
she spoke to him in hushed whispers
let her breath echo in his ear
promised him the cosmos
then shook from the want to deliver
and though they loved,
he could not bear to see her
through the fingerprints of others
he turned her aside as no other was able
left her to grieve on rough knees
she came upon the sea cliff
her sigh wrinkled the universe
and tears salted the waters
the wind carried heart’s lament
before she leapt…
save the gods were as impassioned as the mortals
allowed sea spray height to the heavens
to bring their girl home
Friday, March 6, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Mothers are fantastic- well, mine is.
I called her before I left work and was grumbling and complaining and just being a real nag. She said- "Come home. Momma will take care of you."
Okay, I might be 28 and my mom might be the size of my right leg- but I still fit in her lap. She stroked my hair and hummed and just held me. I guess that was all I really needed.
I didn't get a lot of feedback on movies- (AKP did send me in the right direction. Thanks girl!)but I did get a few for happy books (apparently thats where I was going wrong).
Jennifer offered her daughter's books- she said they were all about princesses, and since I was one it should be an easy read. For the record: I am. I should be receiving those books soon.
Emily offered to send me a french book. A happy french book. I think she wants me to talk her lingo again.
Bill (who was recently updated on my search for Riki Tiki Tavi) is going to send me a collection of Kipling's children stories.
All in all, it's a boon day!
I haven't posted my story for KWC and I haven't posted any poetry. Today is going to be catch up day...
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
There is no listing for:
Kipling (well, just one by him... but not the one I want)
They should advertise "over 5,000 authors you don't want to read". Then I wouldn't have wasted my time looking for things that don't exist on their site.
My bad mood just went to worse.
Yesterday was the Quarterly Meeting for our company. The first one is informative and interesting. There are three meetings. I have to sit through all of them. I read a lot yesterday.
My sister gave me a book about ten or so years ago called Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe.
I started reading it again yesterday and it is as heartbreaking as I remember. But Achebe is such an amazing writer and just go with it. If you haven't read it, I highly suggest it- in fact, I highly recommend anything by him.
Mother is a ninja. I dropped her off at the market the other day and followed her in fairly quickly. She was on aisle 7 when I entered the store. This wouldn't seem that odd, she might have gone straight to 7, but I know Mother- she must go down every single row of goods.
How did she get there so quickly?
When I found her on 7, she was walking away from me, so I waited at the end, running back and forth between the aisles so that whichever one she came down I would be at. I didn't see her at either... 2 seconds later she was coming out of the beer section which is 5 lanes down and on the other side of the store. I would have had to see her if she ended there! I asked her if she was Crouching Tiger or Hidden Dragon. She said she was Awesome Shopper.
I want to rent a video tonight, but I don't know which one to get. Any suggestions?
(Nothing serious! Give me scary or comical)
Stepfather and Mother were having sexual innuendo night... at the dinner table. I thought I was going to boot. I might have. I'm trying to block the evening out of my head.
Sister Raina was in town last night and brought her fiddle along for the ride. She plays fiddle and upright bass. Her fiance plays banjo and guitar. If could do all of them at the same time they'd be the coolest band ever!
*She taught me how to play a couple of chords and for some reason the A# hates me. I don't know why. I never did anything to it!
Vicki called me last night. Why I love her: We had a thirty minute conversation and managed to talk about the following (and in enough detail we both felt better afterwards):
1. Her wedding (dress, wine, other bride maids and shower)
2. Her office drama
3. My office drama
4. Rizzo's birthday
5. Subsequently, a boy (if you used to read my old blog, you can probably figure out who it was)
6. The Bachelor
7. Her plans for the night
8. My not plans for the night
Kindred, we are...
Mother just called my cell- after I answered she said "Oh! I meant to call the other one!"
Ten seconds later she called my office line. "Mother, it's still me..." "Oh... How are you honey?"
It's a good thing we talked though- she was on her way to pick up jumper cables for a young man's car that had stalled out on her road. I told her that under no circumstances should she go back by herself- take the dog or Stepfather! "Oh, it's okay, it's Blake (my ex-husband's cousin). Well, great then.
Is this how my day is going to begin?
So what's my happy today? I need one desperately. Any givers?
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I didn't move until 7ish Sunday night. I am such trash...
it all started like this...
and quickly turned into... weirdness
Co-Worker #1 & #2:
Co-worker #3 :
Co-Worker #4 did not wish to participate...
I can't even imagine why not...