Random Musings

When I went out to defrost my car this morning (yes, it's still cold and my sun dances are obviously not working) I noticed that my defrost fluid was frozen in the lines. I had to laugh because my dear friend JMS was lamenting this very problem only yesterday.

I woke up at 5 this morning and after getting ready for work I had nothing to do for almost 2 hours. I took the new book I'm reading, The Little Friend, upstairs to pass the time. I passed too much time and was 20 minutes late for work. Instead of getting upset and driving like a mad woman to the office, I stopped by Starbucks for a cup of coffee (which I never allow myself) and drove the road to work at a reasonable pace.

I knew a woman named Sarah (please remind me at some point to tell you her amazing story!)who died at a very respectable 92 years. Every morning, Sarah would have a cup of coffee and a piece of chocolate. Every night she had a brandy and a cigarette. She said her favorite things in life were coffee, brandy, chocolate, and cigarettes. She practiced this daily ritual for 60 years. Apparently when her husband of 15 years died suddenly, she wanted to make sure she lived everyday being happy.

I felt a bit like Sarah today.

I started a blog last April as a type of therapy. I started this one because I realized how almost every post was so negatively written. I'm not going to take it down, because I think its important to not forget the things that help personal growth. This blog is the turning of a new leaf for me, but as much as the other one helped me see things a bit more clearly it's time to let it go.

I am without a partner for this Valentine's Day. It is the first time, and therefore foreign and a bit scary. I never before thought that Valentine's Day was that big of a deal. In the years I was with someone during this time, we'd either celebrate or not celebrate- depending on the mood. When I wasn't with a significant other, I had my girlfriends around me for that day.

I don't think of Valentine's Day of an unfortunate holiday- in fact, I've never really thought of it as a holiday at all. Except this year... My girlfriends are in relationships and I am not. The closer it gets to the 14th the more I start to worry.

That is, I worried before I came up with an absolutely brilliant plan!

Almost 7 months ago my sister gave birth to the most perfect human to ever set foot on earth. I'm not bias, I promise. He really is the best baby. He is so spectacular to me- I dream about him, think about him, worry about him all the time. Sometimes I can't even believe that he isn't my own.

Needless to say, my sister and her equally incredible husband don't get a lot of time to themselves. Instead of worrying away a weekend with Valentine's Day anguish, I'm going to visit Atlanta and hang out with my munchkin while his parents go out and celebrate. Mr. Bear (as he is affectionately referred to by all in the family) is going to be my Valentine and already I can tell that this will be the best Valentine's Day ever. He is my heart's joy, my soul's song.